The Monkey wishes to point out to you notable additions to the site. A new Time To Evolve Podcast and two songs. This first song - Brokeback Mountain (Don't You Go There) was inspired by evangelical Christian Rock (remember Stryper? they were fuckin awful) and was recorded by Horatio and Jeremiah under the name You Won't Be Laughing When The Rapture Comes. The second is the Monkey's tribute to John Smeaton, terrorist battering hero of the Glasgow Airport terror attack, it's called Put The Boot In (For Christmas) and if that isn't the true spirit of Christmas we don't know what is.

ARE YOU A HIGHER ECHELON EVLOVING PRIMATE?

ARE YOU FRUSTRATED BY HUMANITY’S LACK OF EVOLUTIONARY PROGRESS SINCE GAINING OPPOSABLE THUMBS?

DO YOU BELIEVE IT IS TIME TO EVOLVE?

ARE YOU READY FOR THE EVOLUTIONARY REVOLUTION?

THEN DR MONTOBAN NEEDS YOU!!

MONTOBAN, MAN, MYTH, LEGEND AND WORLD RENOWED EVOLUTIONARY PHILOSOPHER AT THE TECHNICAL INSTITUTE OF FURTHER MONKEY GROWTH (T.I.F.M.G) UNDERSTANDS THAT FOR IDEAS TO EVOLVE AN INTELLIGENT DIALOGUE HAS TO OCCUR.

BUT HE ALSO UNDERSTANDS THAT IN THE CURRENT CLIMATE OF CARNIVAL BARKERS, IDIOTS WITH MICROPHONES, CELEBRITY FREAK SHOWS, INVADE FIRST ASK QUESTIONS LATER, WITH US OR WITH THE TERRORISTS WORLD WE LIVE IN THE LONE VOICE OF REASON WILL BE IGNORED AND/OR BEATEN TO DEATH BY A BAYING MOB.

THIS IS WHERE WE (AND YOU) COME IN.

THIS WEBSITE IS RUN BY THE MONKEY (A WISE BEING DESPITE HIS PRIMATE STATUS), CAPTAIN HORATIO SANDISTO AND JEREMIAH “GERALDO” SULLIVAN THE 3RD. (SEE ABOUT US)

AND WE INTEND TO CALL THE IDIOTS WITH MICROPHONES ON THEIR BULLSHIT. CHECK OUT THE PODCAST, CONTACT US WITH YOUR OPINIONS, POST COMMENTS IN THE GUESTBOOK, JOIN THE FORUM AND IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS OR WANT TO CONTRIBUTE OR DONATE MONEY TO OUR FUND TO BUILD A PIRATE SHIP (WE LIKE PIRATES AND MONKEYS, WE DON’T
KNOW WHY) E-MAIL THE MONKEY.

AND IF YOU FOUND THIS WEBSITE BY TYPING IN A COMBINATION OF THE WORDS “MONKEY” AND “SEX WITH” THE MONKEY, ADVISES YOU TO ATTEND HIS INTERSPECIECES SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION THERAPY GROUP.